Changes

There is a question on my heart, a prayer on my lips.  I dare not speak to others what my heart needs to know.  Whatever the answer to this prayer, the result will be life changing.  I live now as a woman with divided loyalties… a woman with a heart torn between two places.  The desire to be firmly rooted in the place I know, but to also spread my wings and fly far away.  To leave here would be to leave the church that has molded me into who I am now and the children I teach and help guide.  To leave here would bring new adventures and excitement my life has not yet known.  To stay here will mean the same routine day in and day out.  To stay means continuing to live under the rule of the family and not ever be completely my own person.  Staying means that everything changes but nothing changes.  It’s a path only God can help me determine, a path only He knows which I should choose.  The prayers go up multiple times a day and waiting for the answer means patience.  Oh, the need for patience, the virtue of which I have very little.  There is a question on my heart, a prayer on my lips.  I’m waiting for the life changing result.